And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
