I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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