I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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