he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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