So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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