Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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