I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
