Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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