I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
