O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
