i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
