Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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