just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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