you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
