I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
