I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
try to milk me bitch
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
