I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
farters have to be the big spoon...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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