I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I wear drunk well.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
