I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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