I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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