is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
