Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
