if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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