So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize