just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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