I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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