drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize