It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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