Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
