no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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