Do vagina's smell?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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