is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
dude. I can hear the air.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
