doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
