If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
