new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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