i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
