Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
