I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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