Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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