your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
