So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
