I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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