I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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