i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
