Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
