Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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