Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
