I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
