And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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