Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
