Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
