i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
