Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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