This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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