She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
