based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
