It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
