so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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