weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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