I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize